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Wednesday, 01 July 2009

  • This morning I found myself asking questions about "What God was thinking". It's been a while since I did that. Since my father died I can't really remembering asking that question with such desperation for understanding.
     
    Lee's sister-in-law lost her mother. She had a stroke and as she stepped onto the road to recovery she was killed in a car accident. These events happened SO close together. My heart yearns for her and her family. If I have these questions I'm wondering if maybe they do too.
     
    My first thoughts are that death comes like a thief. My second thoughts are John Donne's poem, "Death Be Not Proud". I had to memorize that poem in the 9th grade. The poem starts off by saying,
     
    "DEATH be not proud,
    though some have called thee
    mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
    For, those, whom thou think'st,
    thou dost overthrow,"
     
    And the poem ends with,
     
    "One short sleep past,
    we wake eternally, and death shall be no more;
    death, thou shalt die."
     
    UGH I know such a bummer of a note right?
     
    But I think what I'm reminded of this morning is that every single time in my life there has been pain the pain has been forged with PURPOSE and I just want to embrace that as I see such a beautiful girl go through such loss. It also helps me to heal in places that are obviously still tender.
     
    I was thinking. His ways are not our ways his thoughts are not our thoughts. Funny how.. scripture will always come back to your mind. I looked it up, just now, and realized there was more to that scripture this morning. I've never really read past the verse I just mentioned but this morning I did. I was truly blessed by what I read and God answered my question, on WHAT He was thinking. Here it is:
     
    Isaiah 55:8-13
     
    For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish so that it yields to the seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth. It will not return empty to me but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song before you and the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush the pine tree will grow, instead of the brier the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown for an everlasting sign which will not be destroyed.
     

    Did you see that?
     
    "As the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish...so is my word that will not return empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
     
    I don't know all the answers and I might not even be taking that word into the right context but to me it says that God brings us here for a reason. He brings us for seasons to water and to bud and to flourish from his desire and with his purpose. You, me, my dad, her mom.... we aren't drops of water meant to collect in puddles and ponds to remain stagnant. What we have... in us... has the potential to change things. To help things grow. To make things beautiful. His purpose for us is sooo much bigger than what we can grasp.
     
    Life is so much bigger than you or me.
     

Monday, 29 June 2009

  • We had a long night. Tossing. Turning. He still woke up on time. Early. I of course was sleeping in an extra 15 minutes because, well, I had more time to be lazy. Ok, ok....
     
    To be honest, I was just being lazy.
     
    Cuddled up in the bed surrounded by pillows I heard him tip toeing through the bedroom so that he wouldn't wake me. I watched him be so considerate of me and thought to myself the entire time how sleepy he had to be from the night before with me tossing and turning and our rotten animals keeping us awake most of the night.
     
    He glanced at me.
    Quickly, I shut my eyes.
     
    A few moments later I opened them back up to take another peek. This time he was standing at our closet buttoning up his Air Force Blues. I can't stop thinking about it. I watched him put on piece by piece with absolute care. No wrinkles. No lent. Perfect creases. Button by button his precision with getting dressed filled my heart with pride.
     
    There is a scripture in the bible ..
    Colossians 3:12-17
     
    As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive each others grievances as the Lord has forgave you. And over all of these virtues but on love which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule your heart, Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly ..and whatever you do whether in word or in deed do so in the name of Christ.
     
    Watching Lee put on his uniform this morning blessed me in so many ways. I saw a man who has dedicated 17 years of his life to our country respecting the uniform he wears and wearing it with much pride. I saw a man of God being clothed with so much love not only for me but for his family, friends and an entire nation full of people he doesn't even know and hasn't even met.
     
    Often times Lee tells me that he's not sure what his calling is and he's not sure what he's doing for God's glory and this morning I looked at him and saw this amazing reflection of our God and His love in this beautiful blue uniform. When I got dressed I had to ask myself...
     
    What am I wearing today?  
     
    This Independence week I am so thankful for every man and woman who serves this country.
    And I am definitely so thankful to God for such an amazing man in my life.
     
     

Friday, 26 June 2009

  • Some of my favorite memories as a child was seeing my dad's face light up when he heard the Jackson 5 being played on the radio or CD. Suddenly from out of the depths of a very troubled man came this youthful vibrant boy who was happier than he ever was when he sang along to songs Michael sang as a young man as well. I knew. I just knew when I saw my dad respond to music that way that something was special about Michael Jackson. Through the years he continued to grow with me and my family. In the first grade my very first crush gave me a Michael Jackson necklace. When boom boxes became big Michael Jackson was my very first cassette tape. His lyrics influenced my inquisitive nature and when he became part of "We Are The World" in 1985 it changed my heart forever as I now inspire to be a part of the change in Africa. Last night when I heard of his passing  I was listening to a particular song of his that says, "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make the change..." part of all the good in me is because of who he was and the good that he did and for that I am forever thankful.

     

Friday, 12 June 2009

  • I was just reading e-news and found this:

    "I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That's what our purpose is in this business. You're merchandised, you're a product. You're sold and it's based on sex. But that's okay. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded." - Megan Fox

    Wow. Really?
    Merchandised, PRODUCT, SOLD based on sex....and it's OK?

    What the heck is empowering by that?

    Women are empowered by having beauty that isn't fleeting and by having the strength, wisdom and courage to be proverbial. Women are empowered by rising above being product stored, picked over and shipped off the shelf because they are educated, passionate and selfless. The purpose of women in any business is not to settle and squander their beauty on anything less than God's PURPOSE not the purpose of MAN or of the flesh of Man.

    How vain.
    How clueless.
    How degrading.

    Mostly.. how sad. I'll leave you guys with some "food".

    Proverbs 31:30
    Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, shall be praised.

     

Tuesday, 02 June 2009

  • So.

    I was just in the lunchroom and I had a lady in front of me with a salad and a lady behind me with a salad. When we approached the check out... one lady said to the other. "Ghee, looks like we had the same thing in mind?" and the other lady replies.. "Yeah but I have half low fat and half real dressing I just can't eat the low fat by itself" and then the other lady replies back, "You get use to it... but you've got to add salt. It's just not bareable without it."

    In between them.. there I stood.

    Mexican Casserole. Noodles, Hamburger, Onions, Jalapenos, whole tomatoes and a WHITE roll. Now. Maybe I should have been thinking to myself, "Gosh, I should be eating more healthy than this..." but, I wasn't. Instead I was thinking to myself....

    Why would someone settle for something that is absolutely UNPLEASING, DISATSIFYING, and UNBEARABLE without "Additives"?


    I think peoples spiritual lives have gotten caught up in this same predicament.

    We walk around this world settling to be a mold of what the world sees as "picture perfect". This magazine model of "even" proportions is a goal for dang near everybody. The thing is, seeking to be this mold... this even proportion to everyone else...takes the much needed nutrition out of our walks with God and out of our desire to be something bigger than ourselves.

    Matthew 5:13-14 says...
    You are the salt of the earth but if the salt looses its saltiness how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

    The interesting concept with salt is.... salt makes you thirsty. It makes you want MORE of whatever it takes to quench your thirst. How interesting is it that this lady was eating food of no value to her until she put salt in it.

    How many times in our lives do consume things of no value?
    How many times in our lives do we pursue things... of no value?
    How many times in our lives do we loose our saltiness?

    And at what point do we figure out...
    That Life is just miserable without it?


    Things that make me go hmm.
     
     

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skevans

  • Visit skevans's Xanga Site
    • Name: Selina
    • Birthday: 7/11/1976
    • Member Since: 12/1/2003

About Me

  • HOLA PEOPLES! A mind is a beautiful thing and humility is priceless. I've been wanting to start a journal and never do but I found xanga and it seems a lot easier than jotting down scribble in a book. So.. enjoy!

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  • xsevgi_cafex
    Get your own Chat Box! Go Large! ANA SAYFAN YAP
  • LSP1
    If you ever move to Arizona, you'll defintely have a home church with us. You're in my prayers.
    • Posted 9/2/2006 11:38 PM
    • by LSP1
  • marsgutierrez
    hey selina, have a word for u ok.. now u know what ur suppose to be doing u know in your heart ..your afraid to take that step afraid of failure or that its not the right thing. god has made it clear to u where ur suppose to be what your r to be doing. so god says selina move out of the way and let
  • skevans
    Ahh no one "Has posted any messages for Selina yet..." Dang.
    • Posted 8/5/2006 10:21 PM
    • by skevans

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