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Friday, 23 October 2009
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Crisp leaves embrace the fallAs colors twist with the breezeThe chill upon my face recallsGod's wink as the season leavesAnother year and the pumpkins appearAnd the turkey is counting his blessingAnd the pumpkin bread nice evenly spread
Has left my heart confessingThree months to come add candied rumWith eggnog and Saint Nick on cableRush and run the holiday funEnds quickly when pressing gift labelsThen suddenly at Midnight's eveThere is a lonely stir left soberly gratefulAs each calendar turns reality sets inWe've had every day to be Thankful
Thursday, 24 September 2009
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Last night on the way home... Lee, Mom and I saw the most amazing rainbow. The ENTIRE rainbow. A DOUBLE rainbow. We also saw it touch the ground it was absolutely beautiful. The first time I've ever seen the end of the rainbow on the ground. It was so brief but so .... wow.
I tried to get a picture but the picture doesn't do it justice.
Definitely makes me appreciate all of the rain...
Mostly because it reminds me that God keeps his promises.
Genesis 9:16
When the rainbow appears in the clouds I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on earth.
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
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Last week while I was sitting in the doctors office waiting room I was remembering when I had my left ovary removed how "mean" it seemed to make me sit in a room full of women with pregnant bellies. In the middle of that thought I saw a couple walk out with their first ultrasound. They were very quiet until they reached the hall and at that point the young girl blurted out, face smiling, "That was so amazing!" She was ecstatic.Somehow I was sitting feeling less threatened by their happiness and the uncertainty of mine. About that time a lady came out and sat beside me. I was busy watching it rain and flood outside so it took me a while to notice but after a while I heard her sobbing."Are you ok?" I asked.She busted out a quick "yes" followed by more tears."Are you sure?" I asked, not believing her.She looked at me with the most disappointed and terrified face and said to me..."I just found out I'm having twins."I grinned and tried my best to cheer her up by reminding her it was twice the joy to which several ladies in the waiting room chimed in with me at this point. She was still distraught. She kept asking, "How could this happen aren't twins a genetic family thing?". At that point I looked her in the eye and I said to her:"You can look at this two ways. You just found out you're having twins and I am waiting to find out if my last ovary is going to be removed and I have no children. You might very well be carrying the person who cures cancer or the next President of the United States. There are blessings on both sides of every coin."Of course I know full well it's easier to say that. She was so heart broken. She went on to say her husband said he would leave her if it was twins and that this pregnancy was not expected let alone having twins. Suddenly reality really kicked me that ... every person has a different battle that we really can't understand no matter how similar the situations may be to our lives.Here you have a couple excited about their new baby, a lady disappointed about her unexpected twins and myself....desiring to be a mom yet uncertain about the outcome or what God has planned.
Why did he choose her to have twins? Why did she get to bare a child so young? Is it safe for me to have a child? Why me and not her? So many times we want to compare our lives to someone else. Our cirumstance to someone else and we just have to fill our cup up with the wisdom of knowing that God believes we can handle it. God believes we can get through it. God is gonna make something wonderful from it. Life isn't a luck of the draw. It isn't a crap shoot or the scratch of a lottery card. Life happens and circumstances mold the ins and outs and these ins and outs are about as unpredictable as gambling. The one thing we can be sure of is that in every circumstance God has purpose. No matter how joyful, how heartbreaking or how scary those circumstances seem at the end of the day God knows we are fit, capable and strengthened by grace to handle it. -
So. I was sitting in line at Chik-Fil-A when I saw this:
Just after I hear there is an 80% chance of rain (again) today.
Suddenly, the forecast didn't seem so glum.
Things to make you go Hmmm.
The best part was when the lady at the window handed me my food
And she says to me, "God Bless You!"'
(so much better than going to McDonalds and fighting over ketchup and a straw)
Song of Songs 8:7
Many waters cannot quench love, and the rivers cannot wash it away.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
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Today is the first day of Fall. My favorite time of year. Although it's sort of hard for me now. September 21, 2004 I lost my uncle and September 28, 2007 I lost my dad. My uncle was 48 my dad was 50. Both died of a heart attack in their sleep. Every year on September 22 when I realize we've stepped into fall I remember and hear my dad's voice.
"Today's the last day of summer."
That single statement in the silence of my uncle's room is a moment I believe I will never forget. Never before had I truly been able to compare the change of season and the seasons of life before that moment. I remember writing about it then and today I'm thinking about it even more. My uncle's season ended in summer and my father's season at the end of the first full week of fall.
I find that interesting.
Two men around the same age with the same illness but a different season. A different time.
"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecc 3:1.
I realize the depressing qualities of these thoughts but at the same time I am searching for a peace in the midst of them and the only way to find peace is to embrace whatever lack of comfort it is that keeps me from finding it.
I am sure every year at this time I will revisit these thoughts but for this year and today I think what I am seeing are the trees and flowers in my yard. At home. At the end of summer their branches and petals are still strong yet tiring and at the beginning of fall they become even more beautiful and vibrant with color. How blessed would it feel to be able to keep the last flowers of summer and the first trees of fall? I guess in a way.... I always will.
1 Corinthians 15:51-57
I tell you this secret. We will not all sleep in death but we will all be changed. It will only take a second as quickly as an eye blinks when the last trumpet sounds. The trumpet will sound and those who have died will be raised to live forever and we will all be changed. This body that can be destroyed must clothe itself with something that can never be destroyed and this body that dies must clothe itself with something that can never die. When this happens this scripture will be made true:
Death is destroyed forever in victory.
skevans
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- Name: Selina
- Birthday: 7/11/1976
- Member Since: 12/1/2003
About Me
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HOLA PEOPLES! A mind is a beautiful thing and humility is priceless. I've been wanting to start a journal and never do but I found xanga and it seems a lot easier than jotting down scribble in a book. So.. enjoy!
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