This morning I found myself asking questions about "What God was thinking". It's been a while since I did that. Since my father died I can't really remembering asking that question with such desperation for understanding.
Lee's sister-in-law lost her mother. She had a stroke and as she stepped onto the road to recovery she was killed in a car accident. These events happened SO close together. My heart yearns for her and her family. If I have these questions I'm wondering if maybe they do too.
My first thoughts are that death comes like a thief. My second thoughts are John Donne's poem, "Death Be Not Proud". I had to memorize that poem in the 9th grade. The poem starts off by saying,
"DEATH be not proud,
though some have called thee
mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st,
thou dost overthrow,"
And the poem ends with,
"One short sleep past,
we wake eternally, and death shall be no more;
death, thou shalt die."
UGH I know such a bummer of a note right?
But I think what I'm reminded of this morning is that every single time in my life there has been pain the pain has been forged with PURPOSE and I just want to embrace that as I see such a beautiful girl go through such loss. It also helps me to heal in places that are obviously still tender.
I was thinking. His ways are not our ways his thoughts are not our thoughts. Funny how.. scripture will always come back to your mind. I looked it up, just now, and realized there was more to that scripture this morning. I've never really read past the verse I just mentioned but this morning I did. I was truly blessed by what I read and God answered my question, on WHAT He was thinking. Here it is:
Isaiah 55:8-13
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish so that it yields to the seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth. It will not return empty to me but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song before you and the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush the pine tree will grow, instead of the brier the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown for an everlasting sign which will not be destroyed.
Did you see that?
"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish...so is my word that will not return empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
I don't know all the answers and I might not even be taking that word into the right context but to me it says that God brings us here for a reason. He brings us for seasons to water and to bud and to flourish from his desire and with his purpose. You, me, my dad, her mom.... we aren't drops of water meant to collect in puddles and ponds to remain stagnant. What we have... in us... has the potential to change things. To help things grow. To make things beautiful. His purpose for us is sooo much bigger than what we can grasp.
Life is so much bigger than you or me.
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